No More Skin Nightmares.

Rejoice! Soon you shall be free from all of your worst Skin Nightmares! You will no longer awaken, washed in terror-sweat, to blink rapidly against velvet darkness while trying desperately to forget how the skin pursued you, how it lurked around the edges of your dreamscape, how it stretched across your frame as you fled. You could never outrun your Skin Nightmare, as your skin was firmly (too firmly?) attached to your self, to your sinew and gelatinous, yellow fat. Your skin was too securely a part of you to leave behind, no matter how you struggled.

No more Skin Nightmares! You shall be plastic, your collagen restored, though we ask that you refrain from queries regarding the source of this collagen, along with the origins of our patented virginal blood bath bombs. Our sources are confidential but so pure. We suggest daily baths in our secret formula, which includes notes of hyacinth to help counteract the underlying tang of copper in the scent.

You will no longer dread the sagging, no longer fear the stretching, you will henceforth be immune to the angry subcutaneous tears that creep across thighs and abdomen, that mellow into spidery trails of contrast, lighter than the flesh they traverse like branching dry riverbeds. Your photos will never require retouching, nor will your perfect skin require or even feel human touch at all.

Your t-zone shall be hallowed, shall be christened a c-zone — where c stands for clarity, for clear thinking, for il cielo itself. Your Skin Nightmares are banished. No more red bumps like boils wrought in miniature form; your facial topography shall be as glass, or smoother. You will achieve a state of perfection, of no visible pores. You may suffer from invisible pores that act as portals to other realms, but you will be so pulchritudinous that this paltry spiritual malady will be easily ignored.

Awaken, dreamer! Your skin nightmares are no more!