Creepy Cozy (and Some Just Plain Creepy) Recs

It’s time for a special Spooky Season edition of OOPS! All Recommendations. I wanted to turn Cap’n Crunch into a zombie or something, but my Photoshop skills weren’t up to the task. Instead, we have… whatever that guy up there is. Is he from the same universe as the Pale Man in “Pan’s Labyrinth”? I don’t know, but I certainly hope not. Yikes.

Aaaaaaanyway, here are a few fun and/or scary things to read, watch, and listen to:

Books

Someone to Build a Nest In by John Wiswell
This is the story of a shape-shifting monster named Shesheshen who falls in love with a human woman named Homily. That’s nice, right? It’s a love story! There is, of course, a catch: Homily’s family is trying to hunt down and kill Shesheshen to break a family curse. Oh, dear! I absolutely loved this novel and was so sad to say goodbye to the characters at the end. I think this is the first romance I’ve ever read about an ace couple navigating what love really means to them (as opposed to what is socially expected). For all the violence and gore (Shesheshen does eat people, after all — she is a monster), this is a tender story. Sweet, even! There’s a lot of uncommon representation here beyond the unconventional romantic details; you can see a disability metaphor in this story, and it’s not a stretch to read Shesheshen as autistic coded. I absolutely loved this little gem of a novel, and if you only give one thing a chance on this whole list, I recommend you read or listen to this one.


The Seventh Bride by T. Kingfisher
I’ve been plowing through Kingfisher’s back catalogue since I read A House with Good Bones last year (also highly recommended). I was delighted and/or dismayed to find that I’d actually “discovered” her way back in 2016 when I originally read The Seventh Bride and somehow neglected to follow her. Whoops! I re-read it recently, and I still love this novel. It’s a darkly humorous retelling of Bluebeard, where a girl must perform seemingly impossible magical tasks to prevent a sorcerer from marrying her. It even has a magical hedgehog! What are you waiting for? Give this a read. (Honorable mention T. Kingfisher rec: The Twisted Ones, which is way more creepy than cozy! So if you’re in the mood for something scarier, it will fit the bill.)


Discount Armageddon by Seanan McGuire
My therapist recommended the InCryptid series to me (she’s good at her job and good at book recs), and I can tell I’ll be plowing through these titles. It’s a little bit Buffy, a little bit Sanctuary (see below), and a lot of monster-based fun. All sorts of monsters are called cryptids in this series, which is about a family of eccentrics doing their best to keep cryptids safe from a shadowy organization trying to hunt them to extinction. We meet Verity Price in this first novel, who aspires to be a dancer but must navigate her family’s expectations while dodging her creepy boss and falling for a hot guy who, unfortunately, works for the enemy. It’s a lot of fun. And if you thought magical hedgehogs were a draw, wait until you meet Aeslin mice.


Incidents Around the House by Josh Malerman
This isn’t cozy at all. In fact, it kind of messed me up. I’m including it as a recommendation because it’s such a good novel. This is the story of five-year-old Bela, whose Other Mommy lives in her closet and has a single repetitive question for her: “Can I go inside your heart?” I don’t want to spoil anything, but this is a dark, awful story that will keep you turning pages long after you’ve developed a cold feeling in the pit of your stomach.


The Broken Room by Peter Clines
Another absolutely non-cozy rec! There are true atrocities around the edges of this novel (and it’s pretty easy to see what real-life horror inspired it), but it’s compelling. In this one, 12-year-old Natalie goes to Hector, an ex-special ops guy, for help fleeing the organization behind an inhuman experiment from which she has escaped. This is more of a horror-thriller with some neo-Lovecraftian details — and a real page-turner. It’s pretty disturbing but absolutely worth reading if you can stomach it.

Movies and TV

“Werewolves Within”
Something starts hunting residents of a small town after a new forest ranger arrives on the scene. This was funnier than I expected (though it’s also pretty gory) and had a lot of great actors in it. I had no idea the AT&T lady had such great comedic chops! Streaming on Shudder/AMC+ and available as a digital rental on other platforms.


“What We Do in the Shadows”
This is a dual recommendation for both the original film AND the series. The movie follows a group of co-habiting vampires (and the pack of werewolves they occasionally run into) in Wellington, New Zealand. It’s surprisingly poignant, besides being extremely funny. The series is set in the same universe but isn’t a continuation of the movie’s plot. The television show follows a similar group of vampires living in Staten Island (“Nyooo Yahk Ciiiitaaaay!” iykyk) with their beleaguered familiar, Guillermo. I understand intellectually that this show isn’t for everyone. Like, it’s super queer and completely bonkers. But it’s so bloody funny that I can’t understand why it’s not number one in the entire universe. It’s literally my favorite thing on TV. The final season (gasp, sob) starts later this month, so you have time to catch up if you really commit to bingeing. It streams on Hulu. The movie is available as a digital rental on several platforms (and you don’t need to see it to make sense of the series, just FYI).


“The Vigil”
This is a quiet horror film about a man hired as a shomer to sit in vigil overnight with a dead man. Things aren’t quite as they seem (when are they ever?), and he soon discovers a malevolent force in the house is trying to attach itself to him. This movie has a fresh take on some common tropes and delivers some real scares by weaving in Jewish lore instead of the usual Christian (specifically Catholic) mythology horror audiences expect. I thought it was an excellent low-budget horror movie! It’s streaming on Shudder/AMC+.


“The Unbinding”
You folks all know that I’m a big fan of the Newkirks (literal stan level). This documentary will likely blow your mind, even if you’re as into the paranormal as I am. It’s that good. It’s even streaming for free on Tubi now. Go for it!


“Sanctuary”
“Sanctuary” definitely fits the Creepy Cozy theme. It’s an exquisitely Canadian TV show about monster hunters who are trying to save and preserve (rather than kill) monsters. Also, if you’ve ever wondered what kind of a vampire Nikola Tesla would have been, this show will answer that question. It’s streaming on Prime and for free on Tubi.

Listening

The Otherworld Podcast
I combined music and podcasts into one section this time. They both go into your ears, right? Tell me this makes sense. Anyway, I binged through the entire back catalogue of the Otherworld podcast over the summer. Jack Wagner is a warm and engaging host who manages to straddle the line between believer and skeptic with real skill. My only complaint is that a few of the personal accounts have too much backstory, but honestly, I’d rather have too much rather than too little detail. Some of these stories are pretty scary, too! Give it a listen.


“Trouble” by Ghost Cop
The new Ghost Cop album is out, and it is FIRE. Or, you know, you can always listen to their entire back catalogue. Whatever works!

“Perfect Opposure” by Klangphonics
Another new album! Wow, I almost feel like a trendsetter, bringing you brand-new stuff instead of something from 13 years ago. I digress! Klangphonics has an interesting take on techno: It’s analogue. Like many others, I first discovered the band when a short-form video of a techno song using a power washer as part of its sonic landscape made the internet rounds. This new collection proves the band can write more than one-minute sound clips, and though it’s more of a gentle vibe than hard-going dance music, it’s still a great listen. Find it here.

“Crazy Clown Time” by David Lynch
Speaking of 13 years ago, I spent a couple of weeks over the summer revisiting this 2011 album. What can I say? I had a weird, difficult summer, and that called for a weird, difficult album. Yes, it’s by THAT David Lynch, the guy who dreamt up “Twin Peaks” and “Mulholland Drive.” It’s every bit as bizarre as his film career would suggest, but that’s a feature, not a bug. The musical styles on the album range from the breathless intensity of “Pinky’s Dream” (sung by Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs) to the robotic philosophical meditation of “Strange and Unproductive Thinking,” but the breakaway pop hit (if you’ll forgive me for calling it that) is the title track itself. (You can see its very NSFW video, which Lynch directed himself, here.) This album is an eccentric sonic journey, and maybe it’s not for you, but I love it. The full playlist is here on YouTube.

Finally, Let’s Talk About the Ghost with the Most, Babe

The original “Beetlejuice” was probably my first encounter with Creepy Cozy, though I didn’t have a name for the concept back then. Let’s face it, that movie is a classic for a reason. A bio-exorcist? Come on, that’s awesome! Claymation worms! Michael Keaton doing the most on every level! Winona Ryder being strange and unusual! Catherine O’Hara winning my heart forever by being a bitchy artist and wearing a literal pullover sweater as trousers! (This is real!) I have so many exclamation points just for this section!! I loved it with my whole heart. I still do.

Let me tell you a little story. Every fall when I was a kid, a little town near us had a carnival over Labor Day weekend. They had rides, games, sketchy carnies — the whole works. “Beetlejuice” came out in the spring of 1988. I saw it and fell madly in love with the entire concept. That fall, one of the carnival game booths had a “Beetlejuice” t-shirt that I wanted with my entire being. I didn’t want to buy this t-shirt. Sure, I probably could have found it if someone had taken me to a mall, but malls were 2 hours away and saved for special occasions. I wanted THIS t-shirt, the one right in front of me. I wanted to win that t-shirt. Even as a kid, I knew carnival games were rigged with long odds. Sure, you could win a little plastic toy or a small off-brand stuffed animal, but nobody really won the good stuff — the flashy, exceptional prizes. I knew that. And the game that had the Beetlejuice shirt was an especially risky proposition! It was a string pull booth, the kind with hundreds of strings hanging from the ceiling, all random and incomprehensible. The selling point was that every string was a “winner,” and everyone got some tiny consolation prize. You paid to pull a string, and whatever it tugged, you won. It was a ridiculous game, pure gambling for children. I had limited spending money, so I bought a single ticket. I only had one pull. There was no strategy, no way to surmise which string led to which prize. So I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and pulled the string that simply felt right.

Reader: I won that fucking t-shirt.

“Beetlejuice” holds a magical place in my pop culture roadmap. Weirdly, I imprinted on Delia Deetz (rather than the more popular Lydia Deetz) and even dressed as her one year for Halloween. (I guess I always knew deep down that I was more art diva than disaffected goth girl!) I wore the shirt I won until it disintegrated, and I still treasure it in my memories. I like to re-watch “Beetlejuice” every few years. I still love it.

So… I was wary of “Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice.”

I was a little irked when I heard a new one was in development. In my opinion, the original didn’t need a sequel, and so many reboots and “re-imaginings” just fall flat. (They can’t all be “Twin Peaks: The Return”!) I didn’t want more; I was good with what I already had. But then I saw a trailer.

I was like, fine. Okay, I’ll watch it, I guess. All the eye rolls.

Look, I won’t lie. “Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice” wasn’t a masterpiece. It was, as my friend T said, a lot. But I enjoyed it. I laughed! I felt the new characters were unobjectionable — and contrary to one particularly scathing review I read, I felt the script made sense (or as much sense as anything would make in that world). The physical effects were good fun, and yes, Betelgeuse himself was unhinged in the best possible manner. My main disappointment was that Delia’s costuming wasn’t as flamboyant as I would have preferred! I just plain liked it. It probably won’t take up as much space in my inner cultural landscape as the original — but few films do.

Sometimes, not being disappointed is enough. Sometimes, good enough is still pretty entertaining. I have no regrets here. I enjoyed “Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice” — even if I suspect it won’t take 36 more years for a third movie to show up.

I highly recommend you watch either the original “Beetlejuice” or the sequel — or both — to really sink into that Creepy Cozy feeling this year.

All right, that’s way more than enough for today. OKAY, BYE! 🖤

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