It’s been a minute since I talked about clothes, so we’re gonna talk about clothes today. (Sorry not sorry!)

I managed to mitigate my seasonal freak out last autumn by applying the lessons I learned the previous spring. I didn’t do any panic shopping (a true victory), and although I had days where I felt like I would freeze to death because I didn’t own even a single piece of appropriate clothing, there weren’t too many. I had a fairly stressful fall but worried less about clothing than I historically have. I bought a couple of vintage sweaters (one is an absolute gem and one of my new favorite pieces) and a few pairs of jeans, only one of which was a mistake. Most of my purchases were secondhand, too, so I’m still doing well on that front. A success! Let’s celebrate that success! I have now awarded myself a mental trophy, a silver medal, and a lot of internal praise. Self high five! Good job, me.

With that celebration out of the way, let’s check in to see what’s happening now. Uh-oh! The temperatures are creeping over 80F! Will I manage this transition as gracefully as I did last fall? NOPE, SORRY. It’s Seasonal Freak Out Time, baby!!

So here we are again. Bah and humbug, and dare I say: BAH HUMBUG.

Maybe it’s because I hate hot weather and dread it more than the cold. Or maybe it’s how I seem to hate everything in my closet right now (which is atypical) or how my last three sewing projects have been duds. I don’t know, and I don’t like it, okay!!

I have a lot of contradictory urges regarding my clothing. My personal style is called Darth Marple for a reason: It’s half spinster detective and half space villain. I like both vintage-inspired pieces and very modern minimalist designs. But I’m in a rut. I just wear a black top and jeans every day now. I sometimes throw a button-up shirt or a cardigan over the top. I’m B-O-R-E-D bored. Yawn.

I don’t even understand what’s missing or what I want. I’m just freaking out.

I’ve decided to do some heavy-duty analysis and self-interrogation. I’m taking daily outfit photos until the end of May to capture what I’m actually wearing, what I like best, and what I’m just making do with. (These photos are only for me, so I haven’t been posting them on social media.) I can’t just vibe my way through this; I need to know what’s working and what’s missing.

I’ve never gotten back to the satisfaction level I had with my wardrobe before I got sick in 2020. I also sometimes forget that it took years to get to that point. My closet really was at a high point of satisfaction back then — probably the highest point of clothing satisfaction I’d ever had. It’s unrealistic to snap my fingers and magically make my wardrobe perfect. Perfection isn’t a realistic goal, anyway! However, I achieved a good balance between practicality and aesthetics in the past. I know I can do it again.

Here are my current warm-weather clothing intentions:

• One retail purchase: A pair of Allbirds I’ve had my eye on for months. I really want them, and I think it’s time to go ahead and get them.
• Continue my search for better black trousers. I’m giving myself permission to buy the black pants I’ve been dreaming about — if I come across them. I’m open to purchasing brand-new pants, though I’ll try to source them secondhand first.
• Any other purchases need to be secondhand until September 1st. Last year’s retail abstinence was a good challenge for me. I’m adding May this year, so I plan to refrain from retail shopping for four months instead of three (with the exceptions outlined above).
• Sewing materials are not included in my shopping ban this year. I’m not ruling out new fabric this time (and definitely not notions), as I’m working through two online sewing classes requiring specialized materials.
• Make two tank tops in May. These are both necessary replacements for worn-out pieces, and one is already cut out and ready to sew.
• Finish my wardrobe analysis project in early June. I won’t worry about missing garments or specific directions to take until I have the necessary data to make a coherent list.

I think just having a plan helps to mitigate the Freak Out. I feel calmer just typing this out! Big sigh of relief.

• My novel needed some structural revision (boy howdy, did it ever), so I’m writing the missing/new material right now. This sounds like backtracking, but it means I’m making solid progress! You folks may actually get to read this book one day.
• I’m late to the party (as usual), but I finally got around to reading “GENERATIVE A.I. FOR WRITERS: AN UNFOLDING (BUT NOT INEVITABLE) NIGHTMARE!” at Terrible Minds. It probably won’t make you feel any better about the potential ways in which environmentally destructive plagiarism machines could ruin the writing world, but it’s better to know where we are, in my opinion.
• Here’s a fun song about, um, watching too many dinosaur movies when you have a fever, I guess? Just watch it.
• Everybody in the entire universe said All Systems Red by Martha Wells was excellent. I finally read it last week, and now I agree! Give it a try if you’re slow like me and haven’t picked it up yet.
• The other book I liked lately was Ghost Virus by Graham Masterton. He’s an old-school horror guy who wrote a bunch of cop books before he came back to horror, and like, this book is a horror novel with cops, so I guess he achieved subject matter synthesis. I picked this one up from the library on a lark, mostly because I enjoyed the movie “Slaxx,” and the idea of possessed secondhand clothing seemed fun. I expected something kind of cheesy, but this novel was unexpectedly gruesome and actually rather creepy. It went completely bonkers in the final act (not necessarily in a bad way), and although it did have a few cheesy aspects, it was a pretty solid horror novel with an inventive premise and interesting characters. (I also didn’t realize it was the first in a series, and I’ve already put the next one on hold at the library.) Anyway, it’s worth a read if you’re into that kind of thing, and the cop aspect doesn’t put you off.

That’s all for today. OKAY, BYE! 🖤