If you’re used to mainstream retail stores and endless online options, secondhand shopping can be a shock to the system. You may feel overwhelmed or directionless. Yes, the world is filled with already-manufactured stuff, but how do you actually transition to a “secondhand first” lifestyle?

First, you probably need to think ahead more than you usually do. eBay doesn’t offer free overnight shipping. I also think it helps to develop the following two virtues to reduce frustration.

Patience
You won’t find everything you’re looking for all at once. Sure, it’s possible to find every item you covet in a single go, but that’s the secondhand version of winning the lottery. The odds aren’t great. Keep an ongoing list of things you’re looking for and check it each time you shop. It’s perfectly normal to leave a thrift store empty-handed or to close a resale app without clicking buy. I know it can be challenging to transition to this slower pace of shopping when you’ve spent years throwing money at Amazon, but take a deep breath and cultivate your patience. It’s okay to find stuff gradually. Most of us need to slow down, anyway.

Prudence
You will encounter awesome things on the secondhand market that you don’t actually need, want, or have storage space for. It’s difficult to pass those things by! However, you can overconsume even when resale shopping. Use discernment. Is this amazing thing on your most-wanted list? Will you really use or wear this item? Where will you store it? What are you willing to part with to make room for it in your home or closet? (That question may bring you right back down to earth, all by itself.) Ask yourself these questions before you put anything in your cart, virtual or physical. Although some unexpected items are definitely worth buying, remember that clutter is still clutter even when it’s cute. Even when it’s Hello Kitty!

With those virtues mind, the following two approaches will help to refine what you actually purchase, to ensure these items fit into your home or wardrobe.

Curation
The term “curation” was probably overused in the Tumblr era, but it’s a valuable concept for resale shopping. Although less common than in times past, you can still find high-quality items on the secondhand market. A vintage cast-iron skillet found at a yard sale is objectively better than a cheap pan from Target, and it will last longer. Upgrade, don’t swap garbage for garbage. Look for natural fiber textiles, solid wood, and better construction. Try to stick to decorative items that are personally meaningful rather than merely fashionable. I truly believe it feels better to have a home and wardrobe filled with items that reflect the real you rather than whatever style happens to be fashionable at the moment. Stop chasing trends and start being more selective with your purchases.

Coordination
If your wardrobe and household items come from disparate sources and eras, they’re probably not going to look like a ready-made designer set. You’re hunting for things that harmonize, not matchy-matchy perfection. A strict set of purchasing rules may help. I normally only buy household goods in the following colors: blue, green, grey, silver, black, or white. Though I make exceptions here and there, this means almost everything in our house coordinates, even when it doesn’t exactly match. (I have similar rules for my wardrobe.) Cultivate an eclectic style. “Eclectic” doesn’t necessarily mean “grandmacore” or intense maximalism, either. You can successfully decorate in a modern minimalist style with secondhand items – or mid-century modern or any other style. With clothing, literally any style is possible – from Y2K teen catalog looks to current high-end designers on The Real Real.

Secondhand shopping is better for the planet, and often kinder to your budget. It’s not quite as easy as hitting the mall, but it can be a lot of fun. I hope you take the spirit of Secondhand into October and beyond! It’s worth it.

• I’ll probably send one more Secondhand September post before the 30th, just FYI.
• Today’s the autumnal equinox. Please enjoy your day and night equally!
• Speaking of seasonal transitions, Spooky Season is so close I can almost taste it. I’ve been writing essays, polishing prose, and piling up recommendations behind the scenes. I can’t wait to share all of these things!

That’s it for today. I hope you have a great week! OKAY, BYE! 🖤