As always, I heartily recommend doing spooky things with your spooky friends (virtually or in person), but if you’re looking for some spooky media to consume, I have you covered.

For Your Ears

The Haunted Objects Podcast
What the eff are you waiting for?? They did a special four-part series in September about spirit communication that was, as the kids used to say, off the chain. You folks already know I’m Newkirk a super fan, so I’m probably going to recommend them every year.

Spooked Podcast
Spooked is a spin-off of Snap Judgment, the popular storytelling podcast. I binged this one over the summer, just gobbling down episodes one after another, like No-Face at an all-you-can-eat spooky buffet. The stories here are unique and wide-ranging, always entertaining, and sometimes quite chilling. I highly recommend this podcast. It also tends to be on the shorter side (usually around 30 minutes), which can be a welcome change of pace.

Otherworld, Episode 129: The Kitchen Gnome
I’m pretty sure I recommended this podcast series in general last year, but now I need to recommend this specific episode. It’s not only the woman’s story, which is wild enough on its own, but the completely unhinged way she reacted! I’ve literally never heard of anyone doing what she did in similar circumstances, and like, you just have to listen to this one. Crazytown bananapants.

For Your Eyes: Quality Viewing

Severance
Is it horror? Eh, I guess it’s technically sci-fi, but it is horrific! We started out with a Severance adjacent piece, so you had to know I was going to recommend the show here. Britt Lower and Tramell Tillman absolutely earned the Emmys they recently won, though every cast member is fantastic. The cinematography is perfect, the score is addictive, and the baby goats have such verve. My number one rec this year. (Streaming on Apple TV.)

Hannibal (TV)
I still can’t believe they managed to make three seasons of this for network television. It’s the bloodiest, gayest alternate universe fan fiction of Hannibal Lecter that the world has ever seen. (Also the best.) Not a show for the squeamish (seriously, how did they get all of those gruesome FX shots through standards and practices?), but it was fantastic television. It’s worth a watch just for the attention to detail in the production design and cinematography. The tablescapes, gasp! Mads Mikkelsen and Hugh Dancy were perfectly, brilliantly cast. Watch the pilot and see if you aren’t mesmerized. (Currently streaming on Amazon Prime.)

The Mothman Prophecies
You can read the book, I guess. It’s pretty dry and a bit of a slog unless you’re really into the subject matter. The movie, though, is an underrated banger and the best movie depiction I’ve ever seen of how a brush with high strangeness can spiral out across your life. The acting is excellent, and the script, although not faithful to the real-life events in Point Pleasant, is an outstanding adaptation of the spirit of the Mothman encounters. It has several chilling moments and one truly baffling product placement that will forever live rent-free in my head. (Only streaming on Starz, though the DVD is widely available and inexpensive.)

Clown in a Cornfield
As a literal coulrophobe, I was reluctant to watch this movie. Thumper talked me into it, and I’m so glad I gave in! I want to emphasize that this movie has too many clowns – way, way too many clowns* – but that doesn’t stop it from being one of the best horror movies I’ve seen all year. It’s funny, legitimately gory, and a brutal indictment of the current paradigm. (Streaming on Shudder, or available as a digital rental.)
(*One clown is too many clowns, in my opinion, just to be clear.)

Sinners
Just watch it if you haven’t already. It’s every bit as good as everyone says. I played the soundtrack on repeat all summer. Truly excellent stuff. (Streaming on HBO Max, or available as a digital rental.)

For Your Eyes: Movies I Love That Other People Hate

Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight
I legit don’t understand why this movie is reviled. It’s a fun, violent romp! The acting is pretty good, even if the script is fairly silly. But it’s supposed to be like a classic horror comic – you know, cartoonish and a little campy. It delivers. And who doesn’t love an evil Billy Zane? (Streaming on Peacock, or available as a digital rental.)

Alien vs. Predator (Original)
Change my mind: This is the best Alien sequel since Aliens. Oh, wait. You can’t. Because my opinion is correct. Look, I know people hate this movie. They’re wrong. It’s that simple. The battles are crazy and the final girl gets kudos from an effing Predator – you’re telling me this movie sucks? All right, fine. You don’t have to agree with me. But I’m right. (Streaming on Hulu, or available as a digital rental.)

Ghost Ship
From a gore perspective, this B-movie is worth watching for the opening sequence with the cable alone (iykyk). Sure, the plot is nonsense – but at least it’s original. Do we believe Julianna Margulies is a badass underwater welder and the hard-nosed Smurfette of a maritime salvage operation? I mean, it’s a stretch, but okay. It even has a young dirtbag Karl Urban alongside a working-class version of Gabriel Byrne. Why not, right? That’s entertainment right there. (Available as a digital rental.)

Sunshine
Nobody gets this movie, and to be fair, it’s pretty weird. After a fairly standard sci-fi opening, the script takes a hard turn into horror-thriller. If you set aside your preconceived notions, this movie is excellent. Just go in understanding that everyone on the mission is doomed, and let the space madness take you. Cillian Murphy does his thing, as per usual, and that’s always worth watching. Bonus: One of the best film scores of the mid-00s, in my opinion. (Available as a digital rental.)

For Your Eyes (or Ears): Things to Read

The Hollow Kingdom by Clare Dunkle
You’ll never, ever convince me that this young adult book began its life as anything other than Labyrinth fanfic. Yet it’s awesome. The main character is brave and clever, the Goblin King is wonderfully arrogant (though sadly not David Bowie), the other goblins are unique and memorable, and the story itself is a real page-turner with some gory bits. I revisited this one recently (having read it long ago), and it still holds up. (Note: This is an older book, and it does contain tropes that a few modern readers will object to, but in my opinion, they’re nowhere near as egregious as something like “Twilight,” which people still read/watch. These aren’t a deal breaker for me.)

Once Was Willem by M.R. Carey
I read this one for my local bookstore’s horror book club earlier this year, and was surprised by how much I enjoyed it. I guess I would call this story a horrific fairy tale? I loved the character development and all of the folklore-inspired details in this novel. I also particularly liked its distinctive use of language. It had the flavor of medieval English while being completely approachable and understandable for a modern reader. It does contain some violence, and the villain is truly wicked, but I think a non-squeamish reader might enjoy it even if they don’t read much horror. (I also got to speak to the author during a book club Zoom meeting, and that was a bit of a thrill!)

• If it seems weird that so many of the movies I’m recommending this year are only available as digital rentals, that’s because I own most of them on DVD (all except Demon Knight and Clown in a Cornfield). That also explains why so many of them are so old, LOL! I’ve been re-watching a lot of DVDs lately, so these movies were fresh on my mind. I’ll never apologize for loving physical media, but if you need me to apologize for being an out-of-touch ancient crone, you have my elderly apologies. (Though they are probably not sincere.)
• How is your temper-taming going? If you need something small to look forward to, pick a rec from above and schedule some time this week to enjoy it. (Listen to that bonkers gnome story if nothing else. Your jaw will drop!)
• I still haven’t put out my Halloween decorations, but I plan to do that this week.
• Feel free to give me some recommendations of your own! Leave a comment or send me an email.

I hope you have a great week! OKAY, BYE! 🖤